Huggin' my Honey

Just a quick post today:

Back in high school, there was this girl that I knew. She'd been in my class since 7th grade, but we'd never been friends on any level. All the same, she was an aquaintence and someone I graduated with. At some point after high school, she found God (got saved/confessed Jesus as her savior, however you want to say it) and began attending the church we both still attend.

Before Neil and I dated, he dated this girl. In fact, the entire first "date" Neil and I had, he talked about losing her as a girlfriend and what he'd done wrong and he sang her praises. (This, as you can imagine, was slightly irritating on a first date!) I kept wondering what he saw in her that I'd missed all those years back in school.

She had decided to get back together with her old boyfriend. They ended up getting married. (As did Neil and I, of course!). Some years later, her husband (who she'd now been with nearly 10 years or so all together) developed brain cancer. Serious stuff. Both of them really came to the Lord through it, though. They had a little girl and named her Hope.

Soon, the cancer was back.

Her husband fought it (with her help and the prayers of hundreds of people) for eight months. There were down times, but also moments of triumph -- of significant hope. Throughout all of it, she journaled online and over those months, I finally saw what Neil had been talking about. This was a woman of strength, character, and determination. Here was a woman after God's own heart, striving always for His best for her best friend.

This morning, her husband finally grabbed Jesus' hand and walked into eternity.

I cannot describe the genuine sorrow I feel for my former classmate and her daughter (who, incidentally, is exactly three days older than Jorgen). I do not "feel sorry" for them, but I can't imagine the struggle, the pain, the hurt that they have gone through, are going through today, and will continue for a while to come. I know there is nothing I can do to make it all better, but Neil and I will continue to pray for them as we have over the past few months. It might seem weird to pray for your husband's former girlfriend, but there is an innocent love that Neil carries for her still that he's passed on to me.

There are no comparisons in life when it comes to loss - each relationship is different from others, of course. But I know Neil is aching for this Godly woman because he still feels the ache of loss from his first wife and daughter. I ache for her because I "lost" my first husband (and though it wasn't a death per se, it almost felt worse because there was no closure and because I lost every single friend/family member that he'd brought to our relationship). Though we can't imagine her own personal, private pain, we can reflect on some of our own and know that sometimes life is just plain HARD.

May God be with her today and in the days to come. May she face her future knowing that God is already there, waiting to help her through each moment of each day.

And in that context, I hope all my readers will hug their loved ones a little tighter tonight. Forget those petty complaints you have with them. Look them in the eye and tell them you love them, and then fully reflect in your heart what those words mean.

God bless you and keep you in His care.